[identity profile] hyperpsyche.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] wrfinalmixarchive
*Oh hey, the stranger in this post looks awfully familiar. It's Ren, sitting in the Disney Castle library, and she doesn't look like she's gotten all that much sleep lately.

She doesn't seem aware that the video has started recording yet. She's muttering angrily under her breath and hitting herself in the forehead a lot.*


Yeah, real fricking smart, Ren. Just disappear for weeks again and not check in with anyone because your procrastination and your fricking social anxiety decided to gang up on you. Like no one would wonder or worry or anything. You know better than that! Stupid, stupid, stupid...

*She glances at the camera to see if it's ready yet and looks startled as she realizes it caught her entire tirade. Oops. She reaches out to shut it off out of embarrassment, catches herself, and sighs before deciding to own up.*

Hi, guys. No, I'm not dead, and yes, I'm an irresponsible idiot for not letting anyone know earlier. I've been... distracted lately. And stupid. Again.

I caught a ride out to Disney Castle a little while back and promptly holed myself up in the library. I wanted to see if I could research any leads on how to restore the worlds we lost to Darkness. And so far, I've had absolutely no luck. I've been looking pretty much night and day, but... *She sighs wearily and runs a hand through her hair.*

...I'm sorry, everyone. I just wanted to find a reason to give us hope. But all I've done is waste time. I'm sorry.

((OOC: And this is what happens when I get all wrapped up in making up for idling out of XI a while back. Way to go, self. But anyway, this is where Ren has been hiding for the past few weeks, cutting herself off from social contact in the midst of her research, then feeling shy and awkward when she realizes that this is not a good thing and putting things off even more.))

Date: 2010-05-31 06:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] songbird9.livejournal.com
Ren, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up. You were doing good work. Even if you didn't find anything, it was an important base to cover.

You know, it's funny, but I have a similar bad habit when it comes to confronting people, even friends. If I've done something that to me seems wrong, even if that's only not doing enough, I can be afraid of coming face to face with a peer who might look down on me for that fault. I stall and hide away, and then not only do I have the original issue, but I'm late on top of that. Then I feel even more anxious. Of course I realize how silly it is, even while it's happening, but I have this sense of pride, you know, and sometimes I'll do anything to avoid having it publicly bruised.

Anyway, the point is, we don't blame you or think you're an idiot. We've all had it rough emotionally.
I'm still pissed as hell about losing Radiant Garden, and never quite sure whether I want to sob or kill something. Not exactly the thing to say in a pep talk, I know, but what it means is you're not alone, whatever you're feeling.
We are supposed to be a support group, remember?

Date: 2010-05-31 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megafire.livejournal.com
I think many of us know what this feels like, so don't worry about it too much. At least you were trying to figure something out, most of us, including me, just went on with our day-to-day lives and ignored any call to plan-making.

So we won't hate you for it and do keep up the good work.

Date: 2010-05-31 07:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amys-keeper.livejournal.com
At least you're trying to find a solution, instead of throwing yourself into normalcy to the point of absurdity. Amy's spent the last four days pretending nothing's out of the ordinary. Heartless, what Heartless?

Date: 2010-05-31 01:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belegwen.livejournal.com
Ren . . . it's okay.

Just because the answer isn't in a book, doesn't mean there isn't an answer. the answer wasn't in a book last time. We're flying blind now, and I know that's hard, but we can find our way. We will find our way.

And, Ren, we've got a reason to hope. It's that there's people like you willing to dedicate so much time and effort looking for answers, and people like Song willing to dream of thousands of different answers to every problem, and people like Ray and Fox and Aria, and even people like Rak, and most of all people like Sora, the list goes on and on. Between all of us, we're strong and we can take this on. And when one of us is weak, the rest of us are there to lean on.

I'm not gonna say, "It's gonna be okay." Because it won't just "be okay." We're going to make it be okay.

Now, I'm going to point something out to you. When you search a library from top to bottom and don't find what you're looking for, that doesn't mean you give up. It means you look other places. Thomas Edison and so on. The kind of book this answer would be in (assuming it is in a book) is a single, unique book or at least a very rare on. Maybe Disney Castle's library isn't the library it's in. So if you want to keep looking . . . check Merlin's books, and Yen Sid's books, and so on.

Date: 2010-06-01 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seolearo.livejournal.com
What you're looking for is more difficult to find. Hell, it'd would be thousands of times more useful than what I've been looking for in Yen Sid's old tomes. But Ren, Mabry's right. That kind of information would be rare, if not one-of-a-kind, book. You won't find it in just any library, so you can't give up after just looking through one. We'll find the answer. You'll find it, maybe. You... We just have to keep looking.

I'll check Yen Sid's books for it while I'm doing my own research. I'll ask him, though I'm not sure he'd have an answer. If there are any immortals around who've been here for a while - Maleficent, or maybe even that James dude - we can ask them. Check Star Market when it comes around, too. Just use every resource possible, and if there's an answer to be found, it will be.

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